


My Soul is Kyber

by The_Dancing_Walrus



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Family, Gen, Heroism, Hope vs. Despair, Music, Spoilers, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 13:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8892136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dancing_Walrus/pseuds/The_Dancing_Walrus
Summary: In the course of the evening Saw called her over and swept her up into his huge, strong arms. He held her close and balanced her on his knee. As if Jyn was his own daughter-The kuzen, elegant wood and long strings, was balanced on one side and Jyn on the other. Saw’s arms came around her, cradling her, protecting her, locking her in with the music he coaxed from the strings-‘My love for youMy soul is kyberKyber, kyberWith your wordsIt lights the dark-’





	

**Author's Note:**

> Saw's rebels came across as very Tuareg to me. I'm not entirely sure why. But it got me thinking about Tuareg music and the result is this little fic.

She was eight when she first went to Jedha. She can remember clinging close to Saw against the strangeness of it but she can’t really remember why it seemed strange.

 

There was a press of people there, too many bodies cramped together in the caves. But she can’t remember finding it uncomfortable: Jyn got used to sharing close quarters quickly. In fact she misses it sometimes, the comradery of Saw’s rag tag band. All those people caught in a dream of something better-

 

Jyn can’t remember the first time she heard music in the caves, it was probably the first time she got there or perhaps earlier in the background of a message Saw had sent to her father-

 

But she can remember the first time she played.

 

It was after a victory, a small one but worth celebrating. She can _see_ the elation on Saw’s face and how it swept over everyone in the caves. How for a moment anything had seemed possible.

 

In the course of the evening Saw called her over and swept her up into his huge, strong arms. He held her close and balanced her on his knee. As if Jyn was his own daughter-

 

The kuzen, elegant wood and long strings, was balanced on one side and Jyn on the other. Saw’s arms came around her, cradling her, protecting her, locking her in with the music he coaxed from the strings-

 

‘ _My love for you_

_My eyes are the desert_

_The desert, the desert_

_Their wells dry under_

_The sun of your smile-’_

 

The cave fell into a gradual silence. Conversation stilled until all that was left was the music and Saw’s voice-

 

_‘My love for you_

_My heart is the mountain_

_The mountain, the mountain_

_For the sound of your voice_

_It walks-’_

 

Her eyes locked on the way Saw’s hands, that she’d seen rough and brutal on the speeders in the morning, turned so soft and gentle on the strings. Around them heads swayed to the melody, mouths shaped the words and like a prayer people whispered along-

 

‘ _My love for you_

_My soul is kyber_

_Kyber, kyber_

_With your words_

_It lights the dark-’_

 

Jyn put her hands over Saw’s and learnt the pattern of the strings, on a long desert night. It felt, briefly, beautifully, like home.

 

-

 

When she was sixteen in that dugout, waiting and waiting for Saw to come back for her she whispered those words-

 

_My eyes are the desert-_

_My heart is the mountain-_

_My soul is kyber-_

 

But no one came.

 

And for a long, long time it seemed like family, like hope, was beyond her reach. As meaningless as a half-remembered song or words whispered in the dark.

 

-

 

The words come to her again as soon as she lands on Jedha. Among the bustle of the Holy city she can hear the echo of strings, feel Saw’s hands under hers on the kuzen. And she tries to crush it because this wasn’t home and Saw was not her father-

 

Except for all the ways he was.

 

Saw looks smaller when they finally meet which hurts in a deep unexpected way. Without her he’s been wounded.

 

But he left her alone so all Jyn finds she can do is shout. Rail at his failings-

 

If he’d just come back for her-

 

If he’d just called-

 

She sees the Holy city crumble behind him with the Empire’s blow and the earth rises up in a tide of boulders to sweep away one more thing Jyn loved.

 

The last thing Saw says to her is ‘Save the Rebellion. Save the Dream.’

 

And all Jyn can think is ‘ _My heart is the mountain, for the sound of your voice, it walks-’_

 

-

 

She cradles her father in a rainstorm, the kind Jedha never saw.

 

And she knows he’s dying and it feels so deeply bitterly unfair-

 

Even though she lost him long ago.

 

Cassian’s hand comes down on her shoulder, tugging her away.

 

‘ _My eyes are the desert_ ’ sounds deafening in her head.

 

It’s a lie but in the rains of Eadu everyone’s eyes look wet.

 

-

 

She stands with Cassian at the end of it all.

 

The plans are sent, their mission is done-

 

And for the first time since she was sixteen, whispering in the dark Jyn Erso feels as though she has both hope and family.

 

‘ _My soul is kyber-_ ’

 

She pulls Cassian close and watches as the Death Star sends a stream of fire down towards the earth. The sea boils and rises-

 

 _‘My soul is kyber, with your words, it lights the dark-_ ’

 

And then-

 

-


End file.
